Disenchanted
by hiddenspikes
Summary: Things were perfect sure we had our fights but I knew that he loved me more than he would ever be willing to admit, but then things changed and now, I don't know anymore.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n-this story is an original story that I wrote a few years back that upon looking over it decided that it would work rather well as a FF so things have been changed and edited and here we have Disenchanted. This story is going to be about roughly 25 chapters, updated every other day until its finished. Hopefully you guys enjoy the story as much as I do. Please remember to review cause I can't improve if I don't know what im doing wrong. As always happy reading.**

**-Jayden**

**Disclaimer- the vampire diaries doesn't belong to me nor do I make any money from writing this. The story line is mine but the characters aren't, im just borrowing them for a little while.**

**Disenchanted**

I always wondered what a place like this would look like, the walls a creamy white color, the doors wooden with a small glass window towards the top that allows the doctors to see in. I bite my bottom lip wrapping my arms tighter around the set of blankets that the nurse had handed to me, palms sweaty as I try to pay attention to the nurse that was walking down the hallways with me.

"Group therapy is mandatory and is held on Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning as well as the personal therapy sessions that you'll have to attend with Dr. Lockwood on Tuesday and Thursday evenings." She smiled glancing back to me before pushing open one of the identical looking doors down the hallway and stepping to the side. "This is your room, Caroline; your roommate is out at the moment but will be back in a little while." I suck hard at the bottom lip that I had been slowly abusing for the last little while as she reached for my arm, stepping to the side to direct me into the small, bright blue room. "Group is in session right now so why don't you get settled in and I'll send Caroline down to fetch you when dinner starts, yeah?" She flashed me another one of her all too happy smiles before stepping out of the room, leaving the door open so that the doctors could check in on me at any time that they need too.

The bed was hard when I sat down, the covers scratchy and a puke green color, a little sunken down and barely any room between this one and the bunk above me. Beside me is a small bag, cloth and about half the size of the small pillow that's sitting on top of my bed. Sighing I bite down a little harder on my bottom lip, half satisfied when it starts to bleed before turning to click open the top of the bag. Inside are the few things that they allowed me to keep with me, a small picture of him, the man that I had come to love, that I was fighting to get better for, a non-toxic washable marker that has the cap glued to the top and is partially dried out but willing to work when made a little wet, and a pair of pjs. There is a soft knock on the door, drawing me from the three small items to the blond orderly that's leaning against the door.

"I'm Klaus." He smiles, something that I instantly want to wipe off of his face, everyone is too damn cheery in this place, "I hate to do this to you but according to the rules, I need to take your street clothes, its sleepwear only for patients, it allows us to tell who is who." He shrugs as I gawk at him looking down at my shoelace free (they had made me take them off the moment that I walked into the hospital) shoes my jeans and my long sleeve shirt, in the night pants and t-shirt that I had brought my arms would be completely exposed.

"Do i…" I began to question only to stop as Klaus nodded his head, fingers moving to run back through his blond curls.

"As I said, sorry it's a hospital rule." I nod, waiting for him to move himself from my room so I can change but he doesn't, he just sits there with this insane little smirk written over his lips as he looks over me.

"Are you going to go so I can change?" I finally snap, losing my temper as I wrap my hands around the base of my sleeves, hoping that the glare that I'm directing him is doing something other than making me feel rather pathetic.

"I can't, besides, doesn't matter if I leave or not, the doors are not to be closed during the day time hours anyways." He shrugs as if he just said the most normal thing ever and I want to hit him, I want to slap that smirk right off of his face, but then again this is my first day here, I don't want any trouble, not this soon in anyways.

"Come on chop chop I don't have all day you know." He just sounds annoyed now and the urge to hit him comes back full force, as I reach down for the buttons on my shirt, slowly undoing them one by one. The shirt hits the ground first, followed by the tank top that I was wearing before I reach for the light grey shirt that I had brought with me, feeling Klaus's eyes moving over my back as I do. I bite down on my bottom lip embarrassment flooding my cheeks as I reach for the button on my jeans, the zipper tugged down before those hit the floor too and I'm quickly reaching for the black track pants that I had brought with me, refusing to acknowledge the feeling of eyes moving over my body. It seems like forever that I'm struggling before I manage to get the pants up and toss the clothes at Klaus my eyes down cast.

"Now get the hell out." I demand as Klaus just smirks, his eyes moving once more over my body before he shrugs and turns, my clothes in his arms, to walk out of my room.

The silence is almost deafening as I sit there on the hard hospital made bed, hunched over slightly to keep my head from hitting the bottom of the bed above mine. Part of me almost wishes that Klaus will come back and mess with my head just a little more, anything to keep the silence from surrounding me, from letting my thoughts race through my head as much as they want too.

Biting into my slightly scabbing bottom lip I reach for the picture that had fallen to the floor the moment that I had started stripping off my clothes. Damon looks up at me, a smile written across his lips, hinting at the cool, mischievous personality that lies beneath all of his layers. Behind him Stefan isn't even looking at the camera, his eyes are completely focused down on Damon, his arms wrapped around Damon's shoulder. The both seem so happy there, before everything went to hell, and I can remember standing behind the camera, smiling to myself as Damon demanded that I put the camera down and come over to him already.

Things were perfect back then, I mean sure we had our fights and things were hard at times but what more did I expect, things couldn't exactly be easy in a love triangle that we had. Back then I knew that he loved me, more than anything more than he would ever be willing to admit I knew that I meant the world to him, but then things changed and now, I don't know anymore.

"Are you okay?" I didn't even notice that someone had entered the room until I felt a hand on my shoulder and was looking up into the strangest looking baby blue eyes that I had ever seen, a small hesitant smile forming across the kid that was bending over to look at me. She was young, no older then twelve or thirteen, bright blond hair hanging in soft curls down around her face, baby blue eyes bright, almost sparking in their intensity. "I'm Caroline." She smiled and unlike the other freaks in this stupid place I had no desire to wipe the smile off of her face, on her it seems natural not like she pitied me or anyone else. She reached up and I flinched away from her slightly a moment before her finger was softly moving over my cheek, wiping away tears that I hadn't even realized were falling.

"I'm fine." I finally croaked out, my throat dry; nose stuffy as I struggled to breathe.  
Caroline cocked an eyebrow as she played slightly with a white plastic lip ring that sat on the right corner of her lips. She sat for a moment studying me before she shrugged and tugged her hands away, her left hand moving to her lips so she could chew on her fingers, the black nail polish on her fingernails, chipped and missing entirely in places.

"If you say so." Instantly I found myself liking her. I didn't want to be pushed, let's face it I wasn't exactly ready to start talking about myself yet, least of all with someone that I had barely met but a few moments before that.

She shrugged again biting down harder on her fingers before standing up and holding out her hand to me, the one that she hadn't been chewing on, and smiling.

"Come on, dinner starts in ten and if you aren't there early you get stuck with all the gross burnt parts on the bottom of the pan." She laughed slightly as if at some personal joke before she smiled bigger, teeth flashing at me. Nodding I mutely climbed to my feet, shoving my hands into the pockets of the track pants, hoping that the black of the pants don't draw too much attention to the vibrant white bandages wrapped around the majority of my wrists. Caroline shrugged as she reached down to pull one of my hands from my pockets, wrapping her fingers around my own before letting out a soft breath.

"Nobody is going to care about your scars here; we all have our own problems. But anyways I'm here for you, I mean I don't know you or anything but I promise, nothing bad is going to happen." She smiled again, a genuine smile that made my stomach do flip-flops, and squeezed my hand before leading me from the room and down the hall to the dining area, almost as if I was the child and she was the adult, not the other way around.

"How long have you been here?" I questioned, instantly regretting it as I thought about how rude it was, but Caroline just brushed it off, pushing her curly hair back behind her ear before shrugging.

"I was admitted back when I was ten or so," she rolled her eyes before sticking out her tongue at Klaus as we passed him, "but honestly I've been here so long that I don't really remember." She reached up to bite slowly at her fingers again as we entered the dining room, and sure enough, standing next to the door that I was assuming was the kitchen a line was already forming, the several different patients all dressed in pjs. , some older looking then others but for the most part they were all depressing colors just like my own. For the most part the patients all looked the same, eyes glazed as they stared out into different corners of the rooms, their lips slightly parted. Only a few of them really caught my gaze, some for bad reasons others for not so bad reasons.

Caroline giggled softly as she followed my line of sight taking in the blue haired girl standing at the very front of the line, her hand cupped over her right eye as she stared up at the ceiling, a frown marring her somewhat beautiful face.

"that's Anna, " she muttered letting go of my hand for a moment to link her arm through my own as we made our way towards the back of the line, walking past a few rather interesting characters. "She thinks that she's missing her eyes." She snorted softly before shaking her head, "there is a monster in the ceiling that has hold of it and she's just waiting for him to give it back." She said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world as Anna narrowed the eye that was focused on the ceiling, her bottom lip trembling slightly. I nodded my eyes moving from one person to the next, finally to settle on a girl towards the back, her white blond hair hanging down in her eyes as she chewed at her nails.

"Why are you staring at me?" She snapped as I approached her, her lips drawn back in a snarl as she glared at me.

"Excuse me?" Caroline shook her head as I moved towards the girl that was growling at me in a rather low voice.

"Why the hell are you staring at me?" She snarled stepping towards me. Caroline flinched back as I moved to protect myself. I don't know why this girl was looking like she was going to attack me when I hadn't done anything more than just glance over at her.

"I'm not starring at you." I spit as Caroline reached up to wrap her hand around my arm firmly drawing me back as Klaus made his way towards our little group, the other patients starring at us, some in fear, others seeming to egg us on.

"What's going on here?" Klaus reached for me first, making me want to swing at him as he pulled Caroline and me apart, his thumb slightly moving back and forth over my arm as he turned me around to face him. "are you causing problems already Elena-Grace?" he demanded as I glared, Caroline biting down hard on her nails, tearing them to the point of bleeding as she watched us, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Lena didn't do anything." She finally said letting her hands drop to her side as she took a step towards Klaus, her fingers bleeding from where she had been chewing at them for most of the night. "Rebekah was the one that picked the fight." She turned sticking her tongue out at what I assumed was Rebekah, the girl that was glaring at me like she wanted to murder me, her fingers back up at her mouth as she pulled at the nails.

"Is that true Bekah?" Klaus demanded as he released my arm only to reach for Rebekah, his eyes narrowing into a glare and Rebekah flinched back from him, making me wonder what the history between the two of them really way.

"The eyes they were staring at me." Rebekah moaned softly her legs turning jello-like as she slumped into Klaus's grip, her eyes squeezing shut, her bottom lip between his teeth. I shrugged as Caroline turned a questioning gaze towards me, before her eyes settled on my shoulder, her lips parting in a soft gasp. Shaking my head slightly I turned to glance at my shoulder before blushing slightly and reaching to tug my shirt back up on my shoulder, correcting where it had pulled down when Caroline had grabbed my arm.

"That's what he meant by eyes." Caroline smiled as if some great mystery had been solved as she reached up to tug back down the shirt that I had just fixed. She was back to chewing on her fingernails as her free hand traced over the rather large tattoo that splayed from my chest up and over one shoulder and down my back. Drawing my eyebrows together I thought for a moment before turning to look back at my shoulder, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips as I looked at the eyes of the jade serpent staring back at me, a moment before a giggle pushed its way to the surface and Caroline looked at me like I was insane.

"I didn't think that a tattoo could cause any real damage." I laughed, almost doubling over as I clutched at my stomach, cramping slightly from how hard I was laughing. Caroline pushed her hand over her mouth as a giggle of her own threatened to escape before she reached for my hand and we made a mad dash back towards out room, ignoring that we were supposed to be at dinner instead. The other patients started at us as we passed them, the nurse standing up for her station at the front door, probably wondering what was going on. Caroline was giggling like a maniac as we skidded around a corner, socks slipping on the linoleum floor, bodies crashing into each other as we moved just a little too fast and lost our balance.

I laughed as Caroline mock glared at me, her hands reaching up to push her shirt back down from where it had ridden up when we fell.

"Lena my darling" She smiled as she climbed to her feet holding her clean hand out to me, "I have to say I really think we've really truly lost it." She laughed then, landing back down on her butt hard as she lost her balance, her hand smacking hard on the ground.

"Caroline, Darling, "Caroline glared at me as I broke down into giggles once more, "I don't think we ever truly had it to begin with."

_Damon was standing above me, a smirk written across his features as he pressed the blade in my hand even deeper into my wrist, the dark red blood dripping its way slowly down my arm.  
"does that feel good?" he sneered his legs straddling my hips as I struggled to get up, reaching for the bandages that I had left on the counter in the bathroom. He laughed softly wrapping his free hand around my upper arm as he forced me back, slashing the razor down my opposite wrist. I screamed struggling weakly against him as the blood began to flow freely down my arms, pooling on the floor around me.  
"Please," I begged as his smirk widened. Sure I had started this wanting to die but as I felt my life slowly draining out of me my body started to fight back, I wanted to live I wanted to keep going. "Please stop."  
He laughed pressing my own hand up to my neck pressing the blade that was still in my grasp against my skin as tears welled up in my eyes,  
"Please stop." He mocked down at me a cruel glint in his eyes as he smiled, "do you really think I give a damn about what happens to you?" he whispered leaning down to slide my lips along my ear my body trembling under his grasp. "I left you Elena; I could care less about what happens to you, you're a child, nothing to me, a quick fuck and some fun to keep me entertained." I whimpered curling away from him, biting into my bottom lip as he drew the blade along my neck in a quick slash before my lips parted in a scream._

"Lena are you okay?" Caroline was shaking me rather hard as I clutched to my pillows, tears leaking from the corner of my eyes, whimpers and mumbled words passing from my lips. "Lena it was only a dream please I'm right here I told you you're safe." Her arms wrapped around me pulling me back against her small frame as she whispered calming words into my hair stroking her fingers along my sides. I tugged my legs up against my chest squeezing my eyes shut as Caroline did everything in her power to calm down the racing of my heart. There was nothing sexual about the way that she was rubbing her hands over my sides, it reminded me slightly of the way that my mother had taken care of me when I was a young child.

"do you wCaroline talk about it?" the shaking had finally stopped, my heart beat starting to slow as I took a deep breath reaching up to slide my hands over my cheeks, wiping away the excess tears that were still there.

"I hate that I feel this way." I muttered turning onto my side to face her, sucking at my bottom lip letting out a breath. "I don't want to doubt him, I hate that I doubt him but he left me, he never said a word he just disappeared and it hurt so much because one day he was there and then next it was like I didn't matter to him." The words came out rushed and I wondered if she understood any of them, her eyes focused on the bottom of my bed as she rubbed her hands slowly along my sides.

"Is that him?" she questioned reaching up to slide her fingers along the picture that I had taped up to the bottom of the bed. I nodded worrying my bottom lip a little harder between my teeth before turning my head into Caroline's shoulder squeezing my eyes shut.

"Yeah that's him." Caroline hummed softly in agreement as I reached up to touch the face that smiled down on me, wishing that it was him holding me, his arms wrapping around me in my time of need. "He meant the world to me," I muttered as I bit down hard on my lip, turning my face back into Caroline's shoulder, "not that he ever knew it I mean, I never said it out loud." I snorted shaking my head as I squeezed my eyes shut, "he was everything, my love, my light, my…and then he was gone, one day he just left, no warning no nothing," teeth dug into my lip as I reached up to wipe at the bottom of my eyes, "the last day I saw him we fought, it was probably my fault." Caroline tisked at me disapprovingly, her hands stroking slowly along my hip.

"Don't you dare even begin to question yourself like that Lena." She growled in a soft whisper, "he loved you, loves you and I'm sure that he's waiting for you to get out of here, that he's wondering why you aren't there with him." She smiled faintly before she shook her head, tightening her arms around my body, "so you need to get better so that you can go back to him, so he can hold you again." I nodded worrying my bottom lip harder between my teeth as I shivered, wishing more than anything that it was his arms, his body that I was pressed against. "I know that I'm a poor substitute but I'm here for you Lena, nothing bad is going to happen, I promise, now get some sleep, you're gonna need it." I nodded and curled further into her, listening in the darkness to her soft breathing, willing sleep to come to me, but fate is a cruel mistress and no matter how much I wanted it, my mind was too busy thinking and sleep wouldn't come. That would be the first of a million sleepless nights, body curled into Caroline as I wished that I was with the man that had walked away from me.

The next morning came slowly, sunlight seeping through the cracks in the windows when my eyes finally started to get heavy. Beside me Caroline was deep asleep, the soft sounds of her breathing loud in the emptiness of the area surrounding me.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" I jumped startled as Caroline spoke, her eyes not even opening as she turned slightly to curl her body closer to mine with a slow smile. I nodded before realizing that she could no longer see me and biting down slowly but roughly on my bottom lip.

"Sure." I muttered, not wanting her to worry about me, and even though I had barely known her more than a few hours I knew that she would, worry about me that is.

"Yeah sure you did." She whispered back stroking her fingers along my hip, but she didn't push any past that and I was grateful for that. "You'll get used to the silence eventually; I know that it's hard to sleep with when you first start out here." She chuckled softly finally cracking open one of her baby blue eyes to look at me. I nodded before sucking slowly at my lip as I stretched body and muscles protesting from being held in the same position for so long.

"That silence is creepy; it's like something out of a horror movie." I muttered and Caroline tried to keep a straight face before she burst out laughing, her arms moving to wrap around her stomach.

"We live in a metal hospital Lena, I don't know how much more horror movie like you can get." She finally managed to get out between peals of laughter, the corner of her eyes leaking slightly as she laughed harder. I started at her a moment wondering if maybe she really had gone insane before what she said to me caught up and I found myself smiling my first real smile in months.

"You're insane," I muttered in the best of ways and Caroline snorted before she started laughing again, turning her head into my chest. I laughed myself curling my arms around her, closing my eyes as I tried to relax, to let myself not think about everything that had gone wrong for just a few moments. We were so caught up that we didn't hear the door to our room open before a throat was being cleared and we both turned to find Klaus leaning against the door frame, his arms folded across his chest as he glared at the two of us.

"You know that sexual relations between patients are forbidden Caroline," he snapped as his eyes narrowed into little slits. Caroline's eyes grew comically wide before her face twisted into something akin to disgust.

"Jesus Klaus, the woman is old enough to be my mother, that's just sick!" she sputtered before cracking up and falling off my bed as I drew my eyebrows together looking over at her. Klaus didn't say anything his mouth just drew into a tight line as the arms folded across his chest tightened.

"Get moving or the two of you are going to be late for breakfast." He finally snapped after the silence had seemed to drag on forever. Caroline shrugged but didn't move from her spot on the floor. The mischief sparkling in her baby blue eyes had me wanting to slap my hand over her mouth but the words were outta her mouth before I could stop her.

"Okay Daddy but I promise we are big girls we don't need you to hold our hand on the way down." I groaned shaking my head, my eyes focused on my covers as I tried not to laugh, a slow growl gliding out from between Klaus's clenched teeth.

"Get going." He spat out and Caroline rolled her eyes before climbing to her feet and holding out her hand for me. I couldn't resist, the look that Klaus was giving me was begging for me to do it, I moved from the bed as slow as i could, a smirk working its way across my own lips as Caroline reached for my hand. She giggled softly in glee before she was pushing us past Klaus, her baby blue eyes bright and shining. I hated her for it.

Caroline was well liked through the hospital and it was known. The nurses all smiled as we passed, some calling out 'good morning' as we passed by them before the returned back to work, and Caroline being the kid that she was cheerfully called 'morning' back to them. I wished more than anything that I could be like that and subconsciously I reached down to finger the now pink tinted bandages wrapped firmly around my wrist.

The dining room was starting to fill when we reached it, Anna standing towards the back of the line her hand cupped over her eye as she smiled at the two of us.

"Morning Anna." Caroline greeted her as brightly as she did everyone else and Anna giggled softly with a nod. "How was your night?"

"Oh it was just swell." She swayed slightly, the bright floral print of her night dress swaying around her as her true age hit me, she couldn't have been but a year or two older then Caroline.

"I found something for you this morning." Her eye grew wide as Caroline released my hand to reach into her non-existent pocket and close her fist around something, extending her hand out to Anna.

"You found it!" she squealed as she reached her free hand down to wrap around Caroline's fist with one of the biggest smiles that I had ever seen. Her hand moved up to her covered eye, nudging the first out of place before pushing against it slightly. I drew my eyebrows together as she pulled both her hands back, her eyes blinking slightly as the uncovered one adjusted to the light. "Where did you find it?"

"They gave it back to me." Caroline whispered mock-serious as she nodded up towards the ceiling. Both of Anna's eyes grew wide as she looked up behind her shoulder before she crouched close to Caroline, the bottom of her nightgown pooling slightly on the floor.

"Don't let them take it from me." Anna whispered back frantically as she clung to Caroline, her face turning into her chest.

"Be a good girl and they won't try." Caroline smiled tracing her hand back through Anna's hair and she nodded with a slow smile.

"Oh I will." Anna promised before she was skipping away from us, her mood changing as quickly as it had come.

"What was that?" I finally managed, starring after Anna for a moment, watching as she talked animatedly with one of the other patients, pointing to her freshly uncovered eye every so often as she did.

"She needed it." Caroline shrugged glancing back at me before biting on her bottom lip slightly, "I don't like seeing her upset like that so I do what I can to keep her happy."

I nodded and leaned into the wall of the dining room, sucking slowly on my bottom lip as Caroline's eyes darted around, wondering how it was the someone as sweet as Caroline had managed to come to a place like this, she seemed perfectly normal.


	2. Chapter 2

Art came after breakfast, the room was small, the walls each painted a different color, one red, one blue, one yellow, and the last white. Plastic tables sat rather high off of the ground, construction paper, crayons, clay and all different sorts of art supplies sat under each table on slabs that had been drilled into the plastic legs of the tables. Strung along the ceiling were painting that reminded me of a kindergarten class, the stick figure portraits that stared back weren't happy though if the bright red splatters of paint across them meant anything. Like group therapy, art was not optional- I was starting to figure out that a lot of things really weren't all that optional.

"You look like someone just told you they murdered your cat." Caroline commented as she sat down next to me, reaching under the plastic table for a glob of non-toxic clay. I shrugged and reached for a sheet of paper and then a black crayon, chewing my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Haven't really drawn much since he left." I muttered starring down and the blank sheet, not picturing anything, not thinking just zoning. I had been an artist before everything had happened, was in an art academy instead of a normal high school, it was my passion my life, it was something that I couldn't bear to look at anymore. Pushing the paper away from me in disgust I snorted softly before laying my head down against the table, closing my eyes. Caroline reached over to poke at my sides, her soft giggle echoing in my ears as I turned my head to face her, drawing my eyebrows together when I realized that with her poking at me I would have clay on my shirt.

"It's not sleep time silly." She muttered before pushing my head back so I was sitting up and holding the black crayon back out to me. "Just draw something, the get really pissy if you don't." I nodded and grabbed the crayon from her setting it to the paper before drawing a circle and glancing at her, cocking an eyebrow.

Caroline rolled her eyes before she held up her hands towards me, a coy little smile crossing her lips.

"Either you draw Lena or I paint on you with clay," She wiggled her fingers threateningly at me before she laughed swinging around on her chair to face me completely. Whether it was to avoid the clay painting or to just make Caroline smile I picked up the crayon once more and went to work on the circle that I had made, chewing on my bottom lip in the process.

His face came easily to me, nights of sleeping curled up next to him made sure that I knew every detail, the way that one eyebrow was always arched as he gave you a challenging little smirk. His eyes were harder to draw, they wouldn't hold the sparkle in them, the deep ice blue that had the ability to make your body freeze and flame up at the same time, no picture could ever hold that, but I did the best that I could fingers moving in short rough strokes as I traced his black curls into place. I didn't realize that Caroline was leaning over my shoulder until she let out a slow whistle, my body jumping as she startled me.

"You know if I liked old men I'd say he's pretty decent looking." She muttered as she stroked her bottom lip. I cocked an eyebrow glancing over at her as she shrugged. "What? Im a kid, to me everyone is old."

"How did you know?" I tilted my head to the side as I reached up to stroke my fingers slowly along the curves of Damon's face before glancing to the side and looking over Caroline. She chuckled softly before shaking her head.

"The other guy looked too much like he didn't fit in with you, he was too focused on the other guy, it kinda weirded me out so I assumed that it was the one looking at the camera that you were pining over." I snorted softly, shaking my head as I turned my gaze back towards the picture.

"It was a dysfunctional relationship." I finally whispered chewing at the inside of my lips, "the reason the other one looked so much like he was focused on Damon was because he was so paranoid about my relationship scared that I was going to change for the worse. Stefan, that's his name, and I avoided each other when Damon, my boyfriend, wasn't around. Damon would spend time with both of us, never asked us to do anything with each other but loved both of us at the same time. His brother who was helplessly in love with me and then there was me, struggling to accept that someone as amazing as Damon could actually love me." Caroline nodded before scrunching her face up.

"Can't say I get the whole love triangle thing but hey, to each their own." She held up her clay stained hands before shrugging, "but at least he wasn't one of those people who rubbed the fact that his brother was in love with you in his brothers face cause that would be really fucked up." I smiled softly and shook my head before facing her, my head propped up on my hand.

"He was amazing. I just wish I knew why he left." I shrugged before moving back to chew on my lip. Caroline rolled her eyes, wiping her hands on her legs before reaching up and popping my bottom lip from between my teeth.

"You're going to worry a hole in the bottom of that if you don't stop." She chastised me biting slightly at her own lip. I chuckled softly before pointing to her own bottom lip, cocking an eyebrow slightly. "I already have a hole in mine so it doesn't matter if I put another one there." She teased her tongue poking out to touch the little white ring in the corner of her lips. I rolled my eyes before stretching slightly and turning back to look at the picture that I had done.

All in all it was pretty good considering that it had been done in crayon. Folding it up I slid it into the pocket of my track pants before standing up and moving towards the door as they called my name.

"It's time for your appointment with Dr. Lockwood," the nurse smiled kindly at me before taking my arm and leading me down the hall towards one of the doors that lead to the outside.

Dr. Lockwood was young, well younger then what I expected him to be. Brown Hair, short and plastered down to his head, apart from being rather skinny he reminded me of the therapists that you see in most movies- creepy molester smile and all. He didn't believe in being informal, there were two couches in the room, both rather comfy looking but faded from years of use. His desk wasn't in there, instead on the coffee table between the two couches sat a lap top and a clipboard with a manila folder baring my name and photo. He smiled and moved to the side to let me into his office before gesturing for me to take a seat, his hands shoved into his pockets.

I rocked back and forth nervously looking around the semi-bare room, eyes focusing on anything but him; this was the last place that I had wanted to be. He smiled again before making a gesture towards one of the couches.

"Go ahead and take a seat." He reached down to pick up the clipboard and one of the pens before he sat down himself, leaning back as his eyes slid slowly over me. I swallowed and sat down, trying my best to avoid looking like I was uncomfortable and he reached up to rub him jaw.

"So Elena-Grace" Dr. Lockwood began but then I was clearing my throat and interrupting him.

"Elena."

"Excuse me?" he questioned cocking an eyebrow as he looked over me from behind wire-rimmed square glasses.

"My name, its Elena, I don't go by Elena-Grace, I never have." He nodded before shaking his head and looking down at the clipboard in his hands, scratching something out with his pen.

"So Elena, as I was about to ask, what brings you here today." I shrugged biting into my bottom lip, tilting my head down to look at my hands and the bandaged wrapped around my wrists, my mistakes screaming back at me. "I know what your papers say but I would like to hear from your mouth what brought you too this point that you felt like you needed to die, that you couldn't be helped." I stroked my fingers slowly along the bandages on the opposite wrists and watched as he made yet another mark down on his clipboard before shaking my head.

"I don't want to talk about it." I finally muttered after the clicking of the clock on the far wall of the office started to drive me out of my mind in the silence. Dr. Lockwood cocked an eyebrow at me before shaking his head crossing one corduroy clad leg over the other.

"We have to start somewhere Elena; it might as well be there…" I focused my eyes on him, not speaking lip drawn between my teeth as I stared. He shifted slightly before shaking his head again, marking yet another thing on the damn piece of paper. "Fine then Elena; let's start with Damon, where did you meet him." I snorted as I shook my head looking down at my hands. That one was easy. Slipping my fingers back through my hair I let out a slow breath before tilting my head to look up at him.

"He was nineteen the first time that I had met him, it was one of those the school year is finally over parties that every high school throws. It was the first time that I had really stepped outside of the house since my parents had died, my best friend Bonnie and her friend Bree insisting that they werent gonna let me be a hermit all summer. Damon and his brother Stefan had just moved into the town a few weeks before then and I had seen them around school but hadn't really had a chance to speak to either of them, they were both so out of my league but then Damon came up to me and started talking to me and everything changed." I smiled to myself in memory; I could see it all so clearly in my head.

_My brother and best friend had dragged me to yet another party, looking for an escape from the mundane life of a high school student when I would rather be at home, comfortable in bed with a book, holed up from the world that I wasn't ready to face so soon after losing my parents. It wasn't that I was that anti-social…I just didn't like being at parties, only bad things happened at them was something that my life experiences had imprinted into my mind…but to them no wasn't an answer that existed. _

_"Come on Elena it won't be that bad." Jeremy grinned as his hand slid over my shoulder rubbing the bare skin that may tank top revealed. I smacked his hand away from me faking a glare at him before shaking my head. _

_"If you like being stuck in a place with a bunch of drunken football players then this would be heaven…" I smiled sweetly pulling my dark brown hair over my shoulder, twisting a curl around my finger, "as for me it's hell." Jeremy's smile dropped before he rolled his eyes and grabbed my best friend Bonnie by the wrist pulling her along with him._

_"Bonnie will keep me entertained since I'm so damn borin to you." He muttered even as he was walking into the kitchen, Bonnie trailing behind him. I rolled my eyes and walked towards the living room my arms folded across my stomach as I took in the people around me. Biting my bottom lip, a nervous habit that I have picked up when I was younger I picked the wall furthest away from everyone else and leaned against it, my eyes scanning around the room._

_"I hate stuff like this." I jumped startled as I turned to look at the guy next to me, so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn't even seen him move to stand next to me. I nodded mutely cocking my head to the side as I looked over him. From the black jeans and leather jacket to the dark blue black hair the guy was attractive and I found myself switching into a shy little girl mode a blush staining my cheeks. _

_"You have beautiful eyes." I finally blurted blushing a darker red as he gave me a cocky ass half grin._

_"Yeah you bet I do." Came the response before he shook his head and turned to face me a little more completely. _

_I bit down harder on my bottom lip the blush darkening to the point where my cheeks flat out felt hot. He smiled a genuine smile before he held his hand out to me._

_"I'm Damon."_

_"Elena-Grace." Mentally I kicked myself as I gave him my full name…unsure who the stranger was but unwilling to be rude to him. _

_"Elena…"he rolled my name around his tongue like he was testing it out before he nodded and his gaze drifted down my form. I sucked on my bottom lip as I turned my head to look around at the different people in the party, my hands tapping nervously on my arms. Swallowing I watched a drunk girl in the corner latch onto Jeremy, her breast pressing into his arm as she propositioned him a leering grin painted across her features leaving nothing of what was on her mind to imagination._

_"Wow…girls like that really make me sick." I didn't realize I had spoken aloud until he laughed shaking his head as he turned to look at the girl as well, nodding slowly. _

_"Tell me about it…" he smirked as he dragged his eyes over the girl hanging off of Jeremy, her fingers slipping into his hair as she dragged him closer to her._

_"I just I mean god how much more desperate can you get?" he smirked at me and licked his bottom lip as I blushed, looking down at my feet. Mentally I yelled as myself as I bit my bottom lip._

_'Wow Elena why don't you just finish shoving the rest of your foot into your mouth while you're at it' _

_He chuckled as he watched me before shaking his head and moving onto the next subject almost like I had never blurted anything about the stupid girl out in the first place._

"Are you usually that forward?" I jumped as Dr. Lockwood pulled me out of my deep thoughts, a blush creeping over my cheeks as I realized just how lost in the memory I had been.

"You mean did it go further than just friends?" I asked before reaching up to rub my thumb slowly along my bottom lip, I could almost feel the heat of Damon's gaze the memory was so strong.

"In so many word." He asked and I shrugged before chuckling softly as I looked down at the floor, wondering if he would believe me when I told him just how quickly feelings developed between the two of us.

"God yeah it did, and what was supposed to be an awkward conversation then never seeing him again turned into something much more." I shrugged again before looking down at my hands, curling them slightly into a fist and watching the bandages around my wrist flex.

"So where does your wrists fit into this all Elena?" I groaned and licked my lips glancing to the side as I looked over him, could he not get that I wasn't ready to talk about that little number just yet.

"I was trying to chop up veggies for dinner Doc and I slipped." He cocked an eyebrow as I leaned back in my chair, chewing slightly at my bottom lip before snorting, "Damon always did like it when I was a good little housewife."

"I think that's enough for this session Elena, you're free to go." He muttered a few minutes later after he had jotted some things down on the clipboard. Thank fucking god.

The walk back to my room was lonely and I found myself wishing that Caroline was there with me, she was someone that I found myself thinking about a lot. There was nothing sexual there but she was willing to hold out a hand to me, to help me when even my closest friends didn't know how to handle my sudden change in personality. Lexi, bless her heart did the best that she could but even she couldn't understand how much what he did had affected me, how I couldn't stand the thought of things changing as much as they had.

Stefan had pulled away from me the moment that Damon had disappeared on the both of us, instead preferring to cling to Lexi, not that I blamed him, if I had had someone that I could have clung too back then then I would have, things wouldn't have been so much easier that way. Instead there I was, eighteen years old, left alone in an apartment that contained the memories of the last two years of my life. It was a miracle that I didn't lose myself earlier than I did.

I reached the room without incident, Klaus and Rebekah weren't around and for that I was thankful, I didn't think after having to deal with Dr. Lockwood that I would have been able to stand either of them. I didn't bother attempting to close the door, knowing that I would be forced to open it anyways if I did, instead I walked over and sunk down onto my bed, rolling onto my back and focusing my eyes on Damon, wishing that he was still around, that this was all a nightmare that I could wake up from.

"Lena you have a visitor." Caroline was tapping lightly on the door to our room as I was lying on my bed, staring up at the picture of Damon and Stefan, and occasionally flicking my eyes to the picture that of Damon that I drew which Caroline insisted on hanging up with the rest.

"Who is it?" I asked my eyes never leaving the picture as I tried to concentrate on the smile, the happiness that radiated from the photo, my session with Dr. Lockwood having shaken me up.

"Some girl, I think she said her name was Lox." She muttered stroking her fingers across her chin before shrugging, "I dunno she's this short little blond thing, but you might wanna hurry and get to her before the other patients scare her off." I nodded with a slight smile before rolling off of the bed and moving to stand up walking over to her.

"Thanks for telling me." She nodded before waving me off and walking past me into the room, stretching as she went.

Lexi was waiting for me at the end of the hall, her arms wrapped around her petite frame as she looked around, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Oh thank god." I muttered wrapping my arms around her waist as she turned towards me with a small smile.

"Elena, sweetie I've missed you so much." She whispered leaning into my chest as the patients around us stared like we were animals in a zoo. I spun her around before I turned focused on her and realized that the smile that I had seen was gone completely.

"What's wrong?" I questioned and she shook her head before taking my head and turning to walk out the doors and into the gated courtyard, her fingers lacing with mine. There was so much silence as we made our ways towards the center the court yard, her eyes glassy as she worried her bottom lip slowly between her teeth, fingers playing across the back of mine.

"Something's happened." She finally said when we had walked a ways outside, her body coming to a halt as she turned to look at me. "It's about Damon." My eyes grew wide as I wrapped my hand around her shoulders squeezing them slightly as my heart picked up so much speed that it felt like it would burst out of my chest.

"Is he okay what's the matter, did he get injured is he dead what's-"the questions were pouring out of my mouth so fast I wasn't sure if she even understood them. Sucking slightly on her lip she reached up to lay her fingers across my lips and instantly I shut up. I just wanted to know what was going on with him.

"He came back home the other day." She began reaching back to slide her fingers into her back pocket as she looked over me, "he looks like shit." She snorted softly before shaking her blond curls outta her face, "but that's beside the point, the reason I'm here is he heard about you sweetie." I'm sure I was as white as a ghost as I sat down hard on of the benches set out in the court yard.

"What was he told?" I whispered when I couldn't stand not knowing anymore. Lexi let out a slow breath before sitting down next to me, reaching over to take both of my hands in hers, her fingers stroking over the backs.

"Oh sweetie," she began and I didn't want to look over at her for fear of what I would see if I did. "Stefan told him that you tried to kill yourself." I nodded squeezing my eyes shut as she spoke, wanting to plug my ears but needing to know that he knew that I was okay.

"He wasn't supposed to find out." I muttered and it was true. When I had pulled the knife across my wrists I hadn't wanted him to know, I just didn't want to feel pain anymore, but as the blood started to pool around me, as I started to get delirious I realized that I didn't want to die, I wasn't ready yet. Stefan found me, lying on the floor of our bathroom half-dead and wishing that I would live. Stefan was the one that I owed my life too.

"I know that he wasn't sweetie." She whispered softly reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear, her eyes downcast. I knew that something was wrong before she even opened her mouth and I wanted to shut her up, I didn't want to hear it, but I couldn't move as the next words fell from her lips and the rest of the world came crashing down around me.

"He was told that you died Elena."

There was a ringing noise in my ears as I pulled away from her, jumping up and making a dash towards the doors of the hospital. They were barely open before I was forcing myself past them and into the main hallway headed for the entrance of my own personal hell. I'm sure that I was pushed into a lot of people as I tried to escape but I didn't care, the only thing that mattered was getting out, was getting to Damon and letting him know that I was okay, that I was still there, still his.

The nurses caught me inches away from the entrance to the hospital, Klaus tackling me and pinning me down to the cold linoleum floor as one of the other nurses shoved a needle into my hip, the effect kicking in almost instantly. I thrashed and struggled against them the best that I couldn't but as the sedative took more control of my movements I felt one of the worst calms settle over my body. It felt like the cold floor of the bathroom again, the energy draining out of me, breathing ragged.

"Solitary will do her some good." Was all I heard my eyes focusing over their shoulder at Lexi, her arms wrapping tight around her body, her eyes guilty, before my head hit the ground and everything fell silent.

The room that I woke in was not the room that I fell asleep in. The walls the ceilings, even the door were all white and padded. There was no sound, no windows the only source of light was the small bulb on the high ceiling. Solitary was worse than I could ever have imagined, and as the cold walls screamed back at me the only thing that I could think of was that to Damon I was dead, the thing that kept me going that I was fighting so hard to get back too didn't know that I was doing everything that I could to come home to him. Wrapping my arms around my legs I leaned my body into one of the padded walls, my head resting down against knees as I closed my eyes, praying that I wouldn't wake up. Without him it was meaningless.

**A/n- whelp there you go chapter 2. As always thank you to everyone that reviewed, the criticisms means** **a ton to me, not only does it help me to improve on what it is that im writing but it also helps me to keep going knowing that someone else besides myself is giving this story a chance. Next chapter should be up on Friday. Until then Happy reading.**

**-Jayden**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n- Thanks as always for the reviews they are much appreciated. I put this at the top this time cause I wanted to explain quickly that the further we get into the story the more of the background story you're going to get from the characters…without that stall there wouldn't be much of a story. Any who! Hopefully you guys like this chapter, as always please don't forget to review, they are my muse and help me to keep going. Until next time, happy reading.**  
**-Jayden**

I woke to the soft tapping of fingers on the door, my body stiff from sitting in the same position protesting as I made to crawl my way over to the door, tapping my fingers back softly.  
"Lena are you okay?" Caroline's voice was softer then I had ever heard it before and I could practically see her chewing on her bottom lip as she tried not to think about what was going on.  
"Im fine." I croaked out my throat dry as I fought against the tears that I never wanted to fall again. I was sick of crying, I had done it for months and the thought of doing it all over again was making me disgusted with myself. "What time is it?"  
"Late." She muttered and I heard the soft thud of something hitting the door before she spoke again, "I couldn't sleep without you in the room so I came out here." I nodded knowing that she couldn't see me but not really wanting to speak, I didn't want her to leave, and I had never felt more alone in my life. "What happened?" she asked and unlike Dr Lockwood I found myself wanting to tell her but instead I bit down roughly into my bottom lip, that wasn't the time nor the place.  
"Caroline you're gonna get into trouble if you don't get back to the room." I whispered lying down; my head next to the door listening to the gentle breaths that she was taking.  
"I don't care!" she was pouting, you could hear it in every word that she spoke and I couldn't bring myself to get angry at her or to tell her to go back to our room again, " you didn't do anything to get put in here, you're not bad, you're not at all like Rebekah." I smiled softly before shaking my head and letting out a rough laugh.  
"Care I tried to run, we both know that that's not allowed, that im not allowed to do stuff like that." I snorted softly as Caroline hiccoughed.  
"Klaus looked like he had a lot of fun pinning you down." Finally came her whispered response as I shuddered with a groan.  
"Jesus, don't remind me that he was on top of me for any extended period of time, the thought alone makes me wanna vomit." Caroline laughed at that one before she slapped her hands over her mouth with an audible clap, becoming rather quiet again.  
"Will you tell me about him?" She questioned after moments of silence when I was sure that she had left me, "I mean you seem like he means so much to you. Its written in almost everything that you do." I nodded turning my head slightly to look at the gap at the bottom of the door.  
"He was my first kiss." I smiled slightly not really feeling it before biting down on my bottom lip, hard, the copper tang of blood in my mouth drawing me back to reality. "He was my first boyfriend, the first person that I had ever really loved that wasn't family." Caroline hummed softly and I could hear the smile in her voice as she lay down on the floor next to the door as well, her blond curls barely visible through the thin gap.  
"You seem like such the little romantic." She whispered turning her head to that she could look under the door at me, "Keep going." And so I did, for the rest of the night I don't think either of us slept at all, instead we laid there talking softly to each other through the gap under the door.  
When Caroline could start to see the light at the end of the hallways she left me to return back to our room so she wouldn't get in trouble, promising that she would be back when they released me from my own person torture room. I didn't blame her, after only a few hours I wanted out of solitary more then I could begin to put into words.  
"Are you gonna behave now Elena-Grace." Klaus smirked slightly as he opened the door to my cell, the keys dangling slightly from one of his fingers, "We wouldn't want to have to strap you down now would we." I pushed past him and into the hallway where Caroline was waiting for me, reaching for her hand as she stuck her tongue out at Klaus.  
"Creeper!" Caroline blew a raspberry at Klaus and I smiled softly before shaking my head as we walked back towards our room together.

I laid down the moment that I was in our room, my body curling slightly into itself as Caroline sat down next to me her fingers stroking slowly over my back.  
"Get some sleep Lena, I'll keep you safe." She muttered as I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath, "I promise I won't let anyone hurt you." She hummed softly as she stroked my back doing what she could to keep me okay. Sucking slowly on my lip I nodded as I curled myself into a tighter ball, letting sleep take me.

_As he stared at me, his hands fingering the little black bag in his hands, my anger deflated, I felt like a complete and utter bitch._  
_"I was going to ask you to marry me, no matter that we haven't been together all that long. I know that it's not much but I wanted you by my side, I wanted you with me constantly I had this huge show planned out in my head of how this was going to go." He shifted silently from one foot to the next, looking more insecure then I had ever seen him until suddenly he was tossing the bag down at my legs, "there you go, take it or leave it I don't give a fuck anymore…"_  
_I jumped to my feet with a growl, the bag clutched in my hands as I glared at him._  
_"No! It doesn't work like that, you can't just say something like that and then turn around and walk away Damon." His eyes narrowed right back at me as he folded his arms across his chest coming closer to me once again._  
_"What makes you so damn proud to be able to talk to me like that?" He snarled fury written across the features that I had come to love so damn much, "What the hell did I ever do to you to make you act so indignant." I hadn't seen him that mad in a very long time._  
_I gritted my teeth but the words kept coming, no matter how much I wanted to keep them quiet._  
_"You keep saying you love me Damon and then you pull this shit. I haven't seen you for weeks and when you finally decide to show your ass back up it's with Sage of all people hanging off your arm and you talking about a wedding." I shoved at his chest as I glared at him, wishing that we would stop the fighting, that he would take me into his arms again and that things would be okay. "What the hell did you expect me to say to think? You know how I feel about Sage, she's your ex-girlfriend, the one person apart from me that you said you ever loved and for you just to show up with her…" snorting I pushed fingers back through my hair, "im in this relationship too Damon, and let me tell you it makes me feel real fucking great when everyone else around me knows what's going on and I don't!"_  
_The alley outside of the grill was probably not the best place to be having the fight but at that moment I could have cared less, I was just hurting and angry and wanted him to feel the same pain that I was in. I winced as he reached up to grab my shoulders, pushing me hard into the brick wall of the building, thumbs digging roughly into the skin, his eyes hard._  
_"Jesus Elena, how many times must I tell you what you mean to me? You're the first person whose meant more than life to me, the first person I've ever cried over," He shook his head, slipping his fingers back through his hair as he pulled away from me, the walls that I had fought so hard against slowly slipping back into place, "you have me wrapped around your fingers Elena, what more do you want? Did you not stop to think that I was scared to ask you, scared of what you would say of what you would think?" I wanted to reach up to touch him, to wrap my arms around him because even though we were fighting his closeness was a comfort to me._  
_"You should have given me some kind of heads up." My vision went blurry as I stared at him, worrying my bottom lip, "Anything would have been better then walking into a room with Sage hanging off of you and a wedding band sitting on her finger after I hadn't heard from you in a few weeks." Damon growled before swinging, punching his fist into the wall above my head as I flinched. It was all hitting way to close to home for comfort._  
_"Jesus Elena, I've wanted to see you for weeks, I couldn't wait to get my hands on you…" he took a deep breath before shaking his head, "of course I didn't know how to ask you." I winced shaking my head, wanting to look up at him but terrified of what I would find when I did._  
_"I gave you all of me Damon." I muttered, "nobody has had me, has looked at me or seen me as you have, remember that. I just can't believe that you were with her…" Damon seemed to deflate as he watched me, his thumb stroking along his bottom lip, all traces of cockiness gone as he regarded me with cold blue eyes._  
_"I don't know what to say to you." I closed my eyes willing it all to stop; I didn't want to fight with him anymore._  
_"If you love me Damon, we'll fix this but we can't just ignore it, can't just walk away from it."_  
_I muttered biting down roughly on my lip. With my eyes closed I waited patiently for him to answer me but when nothing came I opened my eyes to see him walking away from me._  
_"Damon?" I called after him, my feet moving before my mind had caught up…but as I reached out for him he disappeared and I was alone all over again._

"Damon!" I sat up in my bed my eyes wide open as I reached for something that wasn't there. Caroline swore before rushing over from the door to kneel beside me.  
"Are you okay?" she asked as she reached up to push my hair back from my face. Shaking my head I whimpered. "Another nightmare?" I nodded as I swallowed, turning to look over at her.  
"Yeah and they just seem to be getting worse and worse." I tugged my knees up to my chest before laying my head against them, turning slightly to watch Caroline as I did. "We were engaged you know," I laughed softly looking down at the silver ring sitting on my finger, "he wanted to marry me, was so happy about it and then a few weeks before it happened he just took off and he never came back. I don't know why he left and if Stefan knows then he's not telling me." Caroline nodded and slid her arms around me, rubbing her fingers slowly along my sides.  
"I know it's a bad time Lena but it's time for group." I nodded softly and bit gently on my bottom lip wishing that I wasn't going but Caroline was waiting patiently for me, her hand held out towards me, "I promise Lena it's not all that bad." I nodded and sucked slowly at my bottom lip, tilting my head.  
"Why do you call me Lena?" I questioned softly as I took her hand climbing to my feet and following after her," Most people call me Elena." She smiled softly before shrugging as we started down the hallway.  
"Im not most people." She giggled before shaking her head. "You're my Lena. You can be Elena or Elena-Grace to everyone else but to me you're just Lena, besides I think it fits you better." I nodded before shrugging, not really caring. The more time that I spent with Caroline the more that I found myself willing to do anything and everything that I could to make her happy, the way that she did for the other patients.  
"I can see that, " I muttered. He laughed softly as we walked into the group therapy room; chairs all formed a circle, maybe fifteen of them, all hard plastic and different colors. Some of the chairs were already filled. In the corner sat a few people that I had never seen before, all a little older then the teenagers that I was surrounded with but most of them I would say were still in their late twenties.  
"You don't have to worry, Dr. Lockwood doesn't cover group therapy, and I know that he's a little creepy at times." Caroline shrugged before she took a seat, patting the one next to her. I sat down crossing my legs before shrugging to myself; everyone seemed more relaxed I could probably handle things here.  
"I could care less; it's not like im going to be speaking much anyways." Caroline cocked an eyebrow.  
"Good luck getting away with that one." She turned slightly to talk to Anna, the blue haired girl scooting her way onto the of the chairs, her feet dangling over the side of it, barely grazing the floor as she swung them back and forth.  
"What are you still doing here?" Rebekah's eyes n arrowed as she took the other seat next to me, her lips pulled back over her teeth in a snarl. "I don't want you here; you won't stop staring at me!" Her eyes shifted focus to my shoulder before she growled at me. I rolled my eyes turning to focus my attention back on Caroline, but Rebekah wouldn't let it go, instead reaching up to rake her rather sharp nails down over my shoulder. I hissed turning to glare at her, my lips curled; ready to spit out a rather rude remark at her but she reached for me, her nails digging into my cheek, crescents left in its wake.  
"Stop looking at me!" she whimpered as she latched onto my shoulder, her free hand reaching up to scratch harder at my eyes.  
"Stop it!" Klaus' voice was sharp, one of the other nurses that I hadn't seen before reaching down to grab Rebekah away from me as I tried to cover my face from her attack.  
"She won't stop staring at me. She's playing with my head make her stop, please make her stop." Rebekah was curling into herself whimpered as she dragged her legs up to her chest, fighting against the nurse that was trying to pi her down. Caroline didn't move, her eyes wide as she watched the whole thing happen, her face blank almost like she didn't know what to do or how to stop it.  
Finally one of the nurses injected Rebekah in the thigh, his hand stroking her hair away from her as he tried to calm her down. She was lifted between two of them before being taken from the room. Only then did things start to settle down.  
"I just knew you would be a trouble maker." Klaus spat as he spun around to look over me with a slow growl, "Jesus Christ, you're here two days and already this place is going to hell." Anna giggled with glee as Klaus moved towards me, his eyes promising murder as he did.  
"They took her eye too!" she sing-songed clapping her hands together as Caroline reached up to slip her hand along my cheek.  
"She got you pretty badly." She murmured licking her thumb before swiping them along the scratches. "We'll need to get you some bandages," Caroline stood up, reached for my hand and I nodded, too numb to really do anything, more in shock then I was willing to admit.  
"She isn't going anywhere but back into solitary." Klaus smirked reaching down to wrap his hand around my arm with a shap tug, "should have left her in there for a few days. I told Dr. Lockwood that I was too soon to let her out but they don't listen to me, now they know that she's dangerous." Caroline struggled, clutching to me as they tried to pull me away, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip.  
"Lena didn't do anything!" she screamed as she dug her nails into my arm, her voice cracking as he did.  
"Let her go Klaus." One of the older gentlemen from the corner stepped forward, a smile gracing his lips as he laid his hand against Klaus' arm, "the young lady didn't do anything, it was all Rebekah." Klaus glared at the older gentleman before stepping back and holding up his hands.  
"Sure thing Dr. Saltzman." And then he was walking out of the room and I was looking at the man that I had been sure was a patient just like us. His clothes were battered and old, pjs, like the rest of ours. He smiled warmly as he held out his hand to me, a hesitant look in his eyes.  
"Im Alaric Saltzman, im the group therapy leader." I drew my eyebrows together as I looked over him; he looked completely normal, not like the other Doctors in the facility. He chuckled softly before sitting down in one of the hard plastic chairs, one leg crossing the other.  
"Welcome to ground today guys, it looks like we have a couple of new people joining us." Alaric stretched out, his hands resting against his stomach as he slouched down, his legs out in front of himself. "Since we have some new faces let's go around the group and introduce ourselves and why we are here, after all the first step to recovery is to admit what you've done." I spaced, my gaze settled down on my hands as I tried to calm the thudding of my heart against my chest, not wanting to think about what I was going to say to all of the people surrounding me, not wanting them to know about my dirty little secrets.  
"Elena, let's start with you."  
Swallowing I looked up.  
"My name is Elena-Grace," I bit down hard on my bottom lip looking back down at my hands, my mind racing, blood rushing through my ears, "I'm here for addiction to LSD and attempted suicide." I shook my head sucking slowly at my bottom lip before glancing over at Caroline, but she wouldn't meet my gaze.  
"Im Caroline Forbes." She swallowed glancing over at me before looking away again, "and im here cause I attempted to kill my step dad." Caroline sucked slowly at her bottom lip, tilting her head to look over at me again as my eyes grew wide. She seemed so innocent I could even begin to picture her committing such a violent act. She bit down harder on her lip, her eyes swelling with tears before she looked back down at her lap, refusing to meet my gaze. It made me want to protect her even more, made me want to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I didn't care what she had done that it wasn't her fault. Because no matter how much I tried to tell myself that there was no way that she could have accidentally tried to kill her step dad, it had to be thought out, she wouldn't have do it for no reason at all. That wasn't the type of person that Caroline was, unless she had me completely fooled and I really prayed that she didn't.

Caroline was silent for the rest of group, her teeth digging hard into her lips as she fought to look everywhere but at me. I didn't want any answers though which surprised me, what had happened in her past was just that, in her past it was before she had ever met me.  
"That's going to be all for today boys and girls," Dr. Saltzman smiled before shaking his head and leaning back, "I'll see you in two days." He closed his eyes before licking his lips and shrugging, "have fun until then."  
Caroline was up and dashing out of the room before the rest of us even had a chance to breathe. I knocked over the chair taking after her, my hand catching her arm half way down the hall.  
"Hey what's wrong?" I asked noticing the tears in her eyes as she tried not to look at me.  
"Please don't hate me." She muttered softly chewing on her bottom lip to the point that it was bleeding. I smiled softly before shaking my head and reaching up to swipe my fingers along her bottom lip.  
"I could never hate you Care, I promise you're like my best friend now. What you did before, well we all have some things that we aren't proud of." I shrugged softly and rubbed my thumb slowly along her arms, there really was no reason for her to feel bad.  
"I know I just…"She hesitated before reaching for my hand and turning to walk back towards our bedroom, "he was hitting my mom, and then he started in on my baby sister, his daughter. I just wanted him to stop. What he was doing to me I could handle but with him I just…"She whimpered slightly and I shook my head curling my arms around her wanting to comfort her in the ways that she had been able to comfort me so much. "I could handle him touching me but when he lifted his hand to hit Allison, that's his daughter, I couldn't take it anymore, I just snapped. I stabbed him, in the back, twenty times. He didn't die, it paralyzed him though." She started to suck slowly on her abused lip once more before she let out a breath, "I just don't want you to think me bad for hurting him while trying to protect my family." I nodded and ruffled her hair slightly with a soft breath.  
"Not a chance kid."  
She snorted softly before tilting his head to look over me.  
"There are times that I wish I could be like you Lena, you're a good person." I flinched slightly before squeezing her hand and walking faster towards the rooms.  
"Care you have no idea…" and I knew then and there that I was going to tell her everything, the thought of hiding, of letting her continue to believe that never once crossed my mind.

"I hurt him so much." The ground was blurry as I tried to focus on it, focus on anything other than the tears that were threatening to fall, "for every happy moment that I can think of I find another twenty times that I hurt him." I snorted softly reaching up to touch my chest as I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, "my chest felt empty the day that I realized that he wasn't coming back. It was like someone had reached into it and pulled out every part of me that was ever human. I did what I could to forget him." My breathing was ragged as I shook my head starring down at my hands, clasping them in my lap.  
"The first time was the hardest, but the drugs helped." Caroline didn't say anything; instead she turned her head, resting it against my knee as I let out a slow breath. We had been back in the room for fifteen minutes before I started to talk, needing to get it all off of my chest, needing the closure. "I wanted to hate him, I wanted to just be able to close my eyes and forget him, the whole outta sight outta mind thing but it didn't work that way so I set about forcing myself to forget him. The first person as I said was the hardest. I couldn't bring myself to look at other men, Damon was my one and only, so instead I treated them like toys, objects that were there for my use." I chuckled softly the sound coming out bitter before shaking my head, reaching up to slip my fingers back through Caroline's hair, "they always knew what they were getting into, there wasn't going to be any love found in my relations with them and they knew it, they were okay with it."  
I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as I trailed my fingers slowly along the back of her neck.  
"I caused them pain and they gave back just as good as they got, it was never sweet or loving like it was with Damon I made sure of it and it worked out perfectly." I snorted softly before shaking my head, "they never knew my name and I never knew theirs, couldn't tell you what they looked like or who they were two hours after they left me." I shrugged glancing down at him, "Stefan tried to stop me, was telling me that he was worried but I'd get so fucking mad at him, who was he to tell me to stop when he was never around himself. Lexi, she was a friend of mine before all this happened, Stefan kinda latched onto her, even with her boyfriend he kinda told him to fuck off and took over himself."  
"I liked the pain, it let me forget and it felt so damn good at times, like jumping, that moment of weightlessness before the world comes crashing back up and everything explodes in bright color, body protesting unsure whether it's feeling excruciating pain or extreme pleasure."  
Caroline looked slightly worried as she glanced up at me, her fingers pressed to her lips as he let out a soft breath.  
"Lena…if you two were so similar in your love for Damon then why did you both pull so far apart from each other?" She chewed slightly on her fingers as she watched me before letting out a breath, "why not try and help each other when you needed it most."  
"Our group of friends was interesting love," I muttered before chuckling softly, "Damon's cousin Zac was dating my friend Bree, her brother was with Lexi, my other extremely good friend. Stefan kinda clung to Lexi; they had this strange bond between the two of them. All in all it was like this giant…circle between all of us. Me, I was just Damon's though. Not that he could ever say that same thing for me." I shrugged and let out a slow breath tilting my head to look down at my hands in her hair, "you asked why Stefan and I just didn't grow closer when he took off yeah?"  
Caroline nodded before licking softly at her lips.  
"Sure, I mean it just it would seem natural that you turn to the other person that loves you if you lost someone that you loved."  
I tried to hold it in but I couldn't help it, the laughter bubbled out of me before I could help it. It was the first time that I truly felt insane, and Caroline was looking at me like I really was.  
"I didn't love Stefan." I smirked slightly as I let go of Caroline, reaching up to slip my fingers back through my hair, "I hated him with such a fucking passion I could have cared less what happened to him. There were times that I wanted him gone, wanted him to feel what I was feeling, the bitter jealousy of having to share Damon with someone that was after his girlfriend, even better if I could be the one to cause that pain for him. He would deserve it. He took Damon from me, cause us to fight most of the time."  
The nurses came before Caroline could respond, the cart squeaking as they handed out the little paper cups with our meds. My med cup is colorful a cocktail of various anti-depressants and vitamins to help battle against the side effects of drug abuse. I swallow them down quickly, a small cup of water chasing after it before I move back to my bed, sliding onto it and curling onto my side away from Caroline. She doesn't comment, she climbs up behind me and wraps her arms around me. I'm thankful for the silence.  
We lay for a few hours in silence, the nurses just passing by the room, not saying anything just checking on us for a little bit. When the bell for lunch rang I didn't move, Caroline didn't either, her arms just curled tighter around me, shifting slightly as she hugged me closer to her.  
"Are you okay?" the words were whispered from over my right shoulder a few hours later. I nodded as she moved her hand to stroke slowly along my side.  
"I'm just peachy." I muttered squeezing my eyes shut as I slid my hand onto her arm. She snorted softly before shaking her head and reaching for my hand, curling her fingers around it, clutching it to herself.  
"Sure you are Lena." She let out a soft breath before she rested back against me, settling down once again. Like before she didn't push, she left it as it was. I found myself knowing that no matter what had brought her here I could always count on her. She would support me.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n-here we go another chapter and once again this is at the top simply cause I wanted to explain something first, ive gotten the comment that it sounds like Damon abused Elena in this story and that isnt the case at all, it'll actually goes on to explain more about that later on in this chapter, that begin said this will also have a happy ending with the star couple back together in the end. The parts in italics are part true part nightmare but once again that'll be explained later on in this chapter. Okay enough talking now and on with the chapter. As always thank you to those that reviewed they mean the world to me. Next chapter should be out on tuesday. Until then, happy reading.**

**-Jayden**

The next two weeks passed by quickly. The sessions with Dr. Lockwood and Dr. Saltzman continued daily, mostly in silence but sometimes I was willing to talk, it just depended on the mood I was in the and the dream from the night before.

"How would you describe your relationship with Damon, Elena?" Dr. Lockwood questioned one night as we were sitting in his office, my legs pulled up under my body on the couch. Tilting my head to the side I squeezed a little harder at the stress ball that Dr. Lockwood had handed me at the beginning of the session, resisting the urge to chuck it at his head, but the poor doctor was completely oblivious to the violent thoughts that I was having towards him and instead he continued on, "How about you give me six words...hmm?" frowning I drew my eyebrows together, fingers plucking at the stressball.

"co-dependent, quick, loving..."Letting out a slow breath and stared down at my hands, trying to come up with the words that would describe to the Dr. the relationship that I had had, "Cherished...intense and passionate." Dr. Lockwood nodded, pen scribbling something down in the manila folder that bore my name and picture on the top right corner.

"Okay then Elena, why dont we start with Co-dependent. Explain to me why your relationship with Damon you would consider Co-dependent." Pulling the giant braid that Caroline had made of my hair over my shoulder, I fiddled with the end of it as I tried to think of an answer.

"I needed Damon and Damon needed me." Shrugging I continued to play with the hair at the end of my braid, refusing to look up at Dr. Lockwood as I continued talking, "it wast a matter of who needed the other more, it was more like wee felt complete with the other half there, like when we werent together we werent whole." Dr. Lockwood nodded, jotted something down and let out a slow breath.

"Good enough, lets try quick now. Its an interesting choice of word to use."

"Everything between Damon and I happened quickly. As I told you in our first session I met Damon at a party and I didnt think it would go anywhere from there but he came looking for me, stating that I reminded him of someone and he needed to get to know me. We started out as friends but then it quickly progressed and soon I found myself unable to handle being wihtout him." looking up at Dr. Lockwood I cocked my head to the side, he looked puzzled. Jumping slightly as he realized that I was staring at him, he coughed nervously before jotting something down again.

"Very good Elena, now Loving."

Smiling I twisted the silver band on my ring finger, the cool metal feeling like an extension of my body, the familiarty of it a comfort.

"Damon loved me, he would have done anything for me the moment that I asked him too, no matter how completely rediculous it was. I loved him too, more then anyone that I could have ever loved in my life." that was it I didnt want to examine that word any more, I didnt want to tell Dr. Lockwood about how Damon would have turned the world upside down for me if I wished it and how I acted like a spoiled child when it came to him. I didnt want to go into how I was always picking fights with Damon over him being a natural flirt and me being jealous and insecure when it came to him I didnt want to go into any of it yet, wasnt ready to admit that maybe the reason Damon had left was because he couldnt handle me anymore. "next word please." Dr. Lockwood looked ready to argue but instead shook his head.

"Alright, Cherished."

"He made me feel like I was the most important thing in the world." I shrugged, that was the easiest one to explain to him. Damon had made me feel unlike anything that I had ever felt before, I hadnt known that someone could be loved as much as he loved me. Dr. Lockwood shook his head, jotted down another note and looked at me expectantly.

"Keep going. Intense."

I shrugged glancing over at the clock, relieved to notice that I only had ten minutes left in therapy before I would be home free for another night.

"That one kinda explains itself." Dr. Lockwood snorted before motioning his hand like I was supposed to continue so I happily ignored him and skipped to the next word...the faster I talked the faster I would get outta the room. "Passionate also explains itself but eh... Everything that Damon and I did together was passionate, from the sex to the fighting there was nothing that didnt hold a lot of emotion behind it." Dr. Lockwood looked very confused before he let out a slow breath.

"Elena, did Damon hit you?" blanching I struggled not to rip into Dr. Lockwood for assuming that Damon could even begin to hurt me when he had been nothing short of perfection to me.

"Damon never laid I finger on me, he was perfect, our fights that I said were passionate usually involved me yelling over something that he did unintentionally, him listening, silently, not showing emotions until I'd push his buttons and then we'd end up against the nearest surface tearing each others clothes off." throwing the stress ball onto the couch I stood up and fixed my eyes into a glare at Dr. Lockwood, my hands on my hips. "This session is over Doc." and then I was up and walking out the door, slamming it behind me.

Two more weeks passed quickly in the hospital, one day bleeding into the next. More pictures of Damon joined the first one against the bottom of Caroline's bunk bed. Group continued to be one of the easiest things for me to go through, it was easier to slink into a corner and not be noticed. Despite what Caroline said, I wasn't forced to speak. Dr. Saltzman was good like that.

I hadn't really seen anyone since Lexi had come to see me, not that I didn't blame her for not coming back, I had probably scared the daylights out of her.

Dr. Lockwood started to be a dick since the day that I had walked out on him but was managing to help me even though he didn't want too. Dr. Saltzman made sure of it. They gave me a journal with blank pages in it as well as I pen to write with. The pages were filled with drawings, some of Caroline, a few of Anna but most of them were of Damon. What was new there? The more time that I spent in the hospital the more that I was starting to get along with the people around me.

Anna was a god send. When Caroline wasn't around she was at my side, her hand cupped over her eye more often than not.

"So is he really that cute?" she was sitting crossed legged on my bed, her fingers tracing along the pictures on my bed.

I nodded blushing slightly as I worried my bottom lip between my teeth.

"God yeah." I licked my lips before shrugging, "we used to sit on the couch in the living room waiting while everyone would decide what we're doing for the night. I'd always have so much fun tracing my fingers along the tattoos on his arms."

She giggled softly and reached up to touch my shoulder, stroking her fingers slowly along my tattoo.

"Do you have any others?" I nodded before reaching for the bottom of my shirt tugging it up slightly and turning so she could see my side where Damon's name was written in black ink. "It's so pretty." I laughed softly, her fingers tickling as she slowly traced over the letters. She sucked slowly on her bottom lip, her eyes turning towards the door as I tugged down my shirt, focusing my glare towards Klaus.

"Anna back to your room." He snapped folding his arms across his chest. She squeaked before jumping to her feet and making a dash towards the door letting out a slow breath.

"What the hell was that for, it's not even dark out yet?" I demanded jumping to my feet as Klaus walked into the room, pushing me back.

"I don't want you corrupting the younger patients Elena-Grace." He mocked as he shoved my body roughly back into the bunk beds, his hand gripping my arm tightly.

"I wasn't doing anything we were just talking!" Klaus snorted before shaking his head.

"Your shirt was pulled up Elena, you need to stay away from them, or I will make sure that you stay in solitary permanently." He growled softly as he leaned down, nails digging so hard into my arm that it was drawling blood. I nodded letting out a rough breath not telling him that I wasn't going to follow his stupid rules.

He left after that, not giving me that much more of a problem, but the bruises on my arms were proof enough.

"Lena you have a visitor." Caroline was back at our door, knocking softly as I lay in my bed trying to remember a time when things were okay with me and the people around me.

"Is it Lexi?" I questioned drawing my eyebrows together as I swung my legs over the side of the bed climbing slightly to my feet.

Caroline shook her head before worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Is it a woman?" again she shook her head and I drew my eyebrows together wondering who would come see me if it wasn't either of the two girls.

"It's Stefan." The words came out rather weak sounding as she twisted the bottom of her shirt between her fingers. "I can tell him that you're…"

I didn't hear the rest of what Caroline was saying because I was pushing myself past her and down the hallways towards the visiting area, my lips set in a firm line.

Stefan stood as I walked into the room letting out a slight breath, His six foot frame towering over everyone else as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Heya baby girl." He muttered awkwardly, tilting his head to the side to look down at me. I growled glaring at him wondering what the hell he was thinking coming here like this.

"Uh, I just wanted to see you, find out how…" he let out a soft breath muttering slightly under his breath as he shifted from one foot to the next. "He misses you a lot."

I flinched stepping away from Stefan least I swing at him, growling slowly as I did.

"I try to talk to him about you every chance that I get but he won't have any of it, we fight a lot because of it." He reached up to rub the back of his neck slowly again as he watched me. He shook his head licking his lips as the silence surrounded us, it wasn't comfortable though, it was a suffocating silence that brought a smile to my lips as I watched him squirm. "He can't bear the thought of losing someone else. That's why he left baby girl; Nina, his daughter, passed away and he just curled into himself. He freaks out if we even mention your name. It's like you never existed to him."

"Please say something?" he finally demanded hooking his thumbs in his pockets as he watched me.

I cocked an eyebrow lips twisting into what I assumed was a cruel smile before I walked forward and slid my hands onto Stefan' shoulder, nails digging slightly into his shoulders as I lifted onto my tip toes.

"I hope it haunts you that you caused this, Stefan that you didn't try to save me. Another coffin on your conscience." I laughed softly and skimmed my lips along his jaw before biting down hard, wanting it to hurt, not the pleasure filled pain that I would have usually liked. He whimpered squeezing his eyes shut as I pulled away from him, nails raking along his chest, "now get the fuck out."

He stared at me a moment before he let out a breath and shook his head.

"You're so fucked up Elena. Its no wonder you're in here." He licked his lip before turning away from me, "I don't understand what the hell Damon ever saw in you. I'm glad I told him you were gone when he got home, then he wouldn't have to see you like this." And then he was walking away and it took everything in my body not to outright attack him.

"Bastard." I spit before turning to walk back towards my room once more, biting down hard on my bottom lip as I did.

"Are you okay?" Caroline was leaning over the side of the bed, her chin resting on the palm of her hand as she worried over me.

"no." I laid down pressing my head hard into my pillow wishing that it would suffocate me, but of course luck isn't with me.

"Hey stop it, that isn't going to help anything." Caroline's fingers were sliding over the back of my neck as she tried to comfort me.

You know when you get that feeling, the one that keeps on insisting that something bad is going to happen. I wish that I had learned to listen to it better.

The next morning when I got up it started like any other one, breakfast followed by art. It wasn't until we were heading towards group therapy that all hell broke loose.

"Stop touching me!" the scream came from down the hall a moment before Rebekah was running out of the room, a rather disgruntled looking Klaus following after her, a slightly panicked looking expression written across his features.

Rebekah tripped a little ways down the hall, her socked foot skidding on the linoleum as she lost her footing.

"Calm down." Klaus's voice shook as he tried to remind calm, but Rebekah was having none of that, backing away from him as fast as her legs would take her.

"I said don't touch me!" She flinched away from Klaus, curling into a ball, the strange shaped bruises and cut skin of her back clear as day to the rest of us.

She was whimpering softly as she folded her arms above her head, screwing her eyes shut tight. I felt bad for the kid.

"Klaus what's going on here?" Dr. Saltzman looked furious as he made his way from the group therapy room.

"Nothing she just started to freak out when I went to get her for group." Klaus held up his hands in defense as the angry therapist stalked closer. Klaus swallowed, his eyes darting from one person to the next as he looked for a means of escape, one that wasn't coming. "I swear I didn't touch her." His voice cracked as Rebekah started to back up from him screaming trying her hardest to get away from him.

"Please don't let him hurt me, I promise I'll be good just please don't let him hurt me." She moaned softly as she stopped moving, curling herself around Caroline's leg as Caroline looked down at her wide-eyed.

Caroline whimpered as Rebekah tightened her grip on her leg, her knuckles white.

"I'm a good girl." She muttered squeezing her eyes shut, "I promise I'm a good girl." Caroline dropped to her knees wrapping her arms around Rebekah as she clutched tighter to the smaller girl.

"You're fine Bekah; it's going to be okay." She murmured slipping her fingers back through Rebekah's hair and I found myself envying that she could drop all the bad thoughts that she had about a person in order to comfort them. "I promise nobody is going to hurt you anymore." Rebekah shook her head as she leaned her head into Caroline's chest the tears finally starting to fall.

"He hurt me so badly." She moaned, tightening her grip around Caroline, "please don't let him hurt me anymore." That's when the shapes of the bruises on her body started to make sense

The doctors separated us quickly, pulling us into different rooms as they shoved a sedative into Rebekah's hip, whispering softly too her. Klaus was held at the end of the hall by two nurses, a strait jacket wrapped around his arms to keep him from moving as he glared at Rebekah. If looked could kill Rebekah would be six feet under.

"Come on Elena , back to your room." It was like watching an accident, I couldn't bring myself to move if I wanted too. Rebekah had dark red welts down her arms from where she had taken to scratching herself before they could get the sedative in her, but even as she was lying there, dead to the world she still looked like she could cause so much damage.

"I didn't do a damn thing to that stupid child." Klaus was arguing with one of the nurses, struggling against his chains as he turned his cold eyes towards me.

"Come on Lena, we aren't needed here, let's just go." Caroline was tugging slowly on my arm as I stared at Klaus, wanting nothing more than to hurt him myself.

I didn't like Rebekah by any means but I found myself wanting to protect her from the monster that was sitting in front of me. Sure I had heard horror stories about mistreatment in hospitals growing up but I never really expected to be able to see it in front of me. It made me wonder if that was the reason behind the cruel glint in Klaus's eyes every time that he looked at me…was I supposed to be his next victim the moment that he tired of Rebekah? I wanted to hate myself for being thankful that it was Rebekah and not me but I couldn't, survival instinct was kicking in.

"There is nothing that we can do." I nodded sucking on my bottom lip as I tried not to do anything to put myself back into solitary. I would die before I did anything to have them put me back in there; it had been the worst few hours of my life.

"I wish I could help." Came Caroline's quiet plea as we walked down the hallways and into out room, her hand squeezing tightly against mine, it was a wonder that my fingers didn't crack, "I just can't stand to see her that like…and Klaus, Jesus, I always knew that guy was a creeper."

"I'm scared." Anna was sitting on my bed in my room, her feet pulled up to her chest as she cried softly chewing at her nails to the point that they were starting to bleed. Caroline hushed her softly as she sat down wrapping her arms around her, her hands rubbing slowly along her back. "what if he comes after me…he used to look at me like I was this piece of candy…he'd lick his lips and he'd sit in my room sometimes at night while Vicki was sleeping, and she never woke up cause she was on the top bunk and I was too scared to sleep or to scream…I didn't want him mad at me cause then he would hurt me."

"We'll protect you sweetie, I promise nothing back is going to happen to you. He's never going to touch you again so long as I live." I was starting to wonder if maybe comforting people were the only thing that Caroline knew how to do as she curled her body closer to Anna, or did Anna reminded her of her little sister, she seemed close to her age. Caroline's family popped into my mind as I sat there for a moment wondering just how fucked up her step-father had to be in order to be able to push her into attempting to commit murder.

Shaking my head I turned to sit on the floor, back resting against the door as I tried to look anywhere but at them. We sat there for a long time, not saying anything, Anna's soft whimpers seeming to echo in the background of the rooms. They never came to get us for group therapy instead all too soon the bell signaling dinner sounded. Neither of us moved for a moment to lost in our own thoughts to do much of anything. When we finally moved the halls leading towards the dining room was empty of patients and doctors alike and I found myself thinking more and more that it reminded me of a horror movie.

At the end of the hallways sitting down on one of the couches was Lexi, her hands clasped in front of her, lip between her teeth as she stared at her hands.

"I need to talk to you." She muttered twisting her hands, as she stood up. I nodded and reached for her hands, signaling to the others that they should just keep going. Caroline rubbed her hand along my shoulder, casting me a soft smile before she was moving down the hall Anna's hand grasped firmly in her own.

"So what's going on?" I asked as we turned to walk down the hallway back towards my room, my fingers lacing with hers.

She shook her head as she let out a slow breath before turning slightly to look over at her.

"Stefan is worried about you; he said that you're not acting like yourself." I sucked softly at my bottom lip as I sat down on the edge of my bed looking over her.

"Stefan can go fuck himself." I muttered reaching up to slip my finger back through my hair before shrugging. She signed pushing her blond hair over her shoulder as she worried her bottom lip.

"Oh Elena ." She sat down next to me, her arm wrapping around my waist, her head leaning into my shoulder. "You two used to get along so well…I mean sure I know that you don't like him and all but you two were at least able to be able in the same room without ripping into each other." I shrugged turning my head to look at her before hissing out quickly.

"Lexi, things can change" she shifted slightly biting at her bottom lip as she nodded. I felt bad, she was always going out of her way trying to help people, she was one of my only friends that had come to see me since I had been admitted. "I just…I can't bring myself to forgive him for everything that happened, for everything that he said. it's not fair that he gets to spend time with Damon and I'm stuck in this hell hole." I reached for her hand, wrapping my fingers around hers and squeezing her hand as I watched her for a minute. "Every minute that I'm stuck in here is another that those two grow closer, another minute that Damon forgets about me. I mean yeah Damon and I have our problems but all hell is going to break loose the moment that I get outta here…who knows if he will even want me anymore." I didn't want to even think about what that could look like…how much that could hurt.

"You'll be okay soon Elena and then you can get back to him…I promise." She reminded me of Caroline as she stroked her thumb across the back of my hand, "things aren't good for any of us and just they will get better." She let out a soft breath sucking slowly at her bottom lip with a soft rather sad looking smile. "You know I don't know if Stefan told you or not but him and Damon fight all the time now, usually about you. Stefan keeps trying to tell him that it's not okay to just lock you out of his head like you didn't exist to him like you didn't matter…Damon just doesn't want to remember… but then again you know how he gets when he's angry."

I snorted softly before shrugging I didnt trust stefan furhter then I could throw him, there was no way he was denfending me to Damon. I knew Damon's tempter better than I ever really wanted too. There were just some times that we clashed. Damon argued that it made the sex better between the two of us, I personally was just sick of all of the yelling.

"Does he even miss me at all?" I asked finally when I could take the silence anymore. She nodded looking down at my hand as she let out a hard breath, refusing to meet my gaze.

"He misses you so much but you know how stubborn his ass is, he won't admit it." I closed my eyes and wished that I could be back with him. Part of me wanted to hate him for trying to forget about me when I was trying my damnedest to get back to him, the other part of me felt guilty for even considering wanting to hate him.

"Jesus Lexi, what am I going to do?" I turned my head into her shoulder with a soft whisper, the faint smell of her perfume reminding me of home, providing a brief comfort that i knew was going to disappear the second that she walked out the front doors.

"I don't know sweetie, only you can say that." Her fingers trailed over the back of my neck as I fought against the tears threatening to fall. Damon would be disgusted by the show of weakness. She smiled faintly as she reached up to stroke her fingers slowly along my cheek, tilting her head. "No need to cry darling, things will work themselves out eventually…he really does love you." The words were like knives in my back, because as sure as my heart was that he loved me, my head was the one screaming that he didn't.

"I just don't know any more Lexi." I muttered moving to rest my head against her leg as I lost my battle against my tears. She signed softly before reaching up to slip her fingers back through my hair with a slow breath.

"I know sweetie, I know." And then there was blessed silence as my eyes closed his face the last thing that passed across my mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n- yes i know im putting this at the top rather than the bottom for a reason, some of the stuff in this chapter is a little disturbing... the stuff in bold apart from the authors note is the disturbing part should you want to skip it, ****that being said after this chapter we'll start to get to the happier parts of the story. It will have a happy ending and there will be no more disturbing stuff after this chapter. So yay right? Anyways as always thank you to everyone that reviewed, for ****mak75231 I just wanted to let you know that the parts containing the hospital will make sense soon enough, I just cant give everything away at the get go or I wouldn't have much of a story. Please don't forget to review. Until next time, happy reading.**

**-Jayden**

The feeling of dread that was settling down in the pit of my stomach was slowly driving me deeper and deeper into insanity, voices screaming that I wasn't worth it anymore that I needed to just let go already, let them take over like they begged me to do day in and day out. They taunted me, promised that in the end it would be me begging them to end everything.

"What are you doing out here? Its way past lights out we're supposed to be inside." Rebekah chewed slightly on her fingers as she took a seat next to me on the cold grass outside. If I were to guess I'd say it was around two in the morning and I couldn't sleep, so pulling the blankets off of my bed I moved to sit outside, ignoring the fact that I could get into serious trouble if I was caught, I needed the fresh air to the point that I was willing to do anything and everything that it took to get it.

"I would kill for a cigarette right now." I muttered off hand as Rebekah shrugged slightly glancing over me; ignore the fact that I had completely disregarded what she has said.

"Those things will kill you, ya know." She muttered softly curling her legs under herself as she glanced up at the night sky where my eyes were focused.

I laughed softly, not really feeling it as I shrugged slightly.

"That's kind of the point." Rebekah rolled her eyes before she was holding out a red and white pack of cigarettes out to me with a lighter.

"Didn't exactly strike me as the suicidal kind of kid, kid." She chuckled softly as if at some personal joke before she was slipping her fingers back through her hair.

I took one from here pack, nodding, almost thankfully to her before sliding it between my lips and lighting it, my nerves instantly calming as I took a slow drag.

"thanks." I muttered before shaking my head softly as I exhaled, the white smoke curling softly in the darkness. I sucked gently at my bottom lip, tasting the nicotine there as I glanced over at her. "are you okay to be around me, what with my tattoo and all?" the second that the words were out of my mouth I realized just how bitchy they really sounded but Rebekah didn't seem offended, instead she just snorted softly before she was laughing rather hard, her arms curled around her waist.

"Jesus Christ you honestly thought that was real?" She smirked slightly, lighting a cigarette for herself, her hands shaking slightly as she did. She must have noticed the look on my face because she started laughing even harder, the lighter falling off of her leg to hit the floor with a dull thud. "That was all a show to piss Klaus off…I could care less if you had a fucking tattoo or not." She chuckled softly before shrugging, "anything that I could do to make Klaus' life a living hell I did. If it meant acting out and causing all sorts of problems then so be it…it made what he did to me that much easier to swallow." She glanced over at me then, cigarette half smoked, dangling from her fingers, "you got lucky I outed him when I did, Christ girl his eyes were set on you." She leaned back on her elbows glancing over at me like the words that she just said had no meaning. "I mean sure his cock wasn't anything to brag about but when it's being forced on you, that's a whole different story, I'm sure a pencil would hurt at that point."

My stomach was churning as she talked to me, my throat tight and dry as I tried to come up with the right words to say, the best way to offer comfort. Rebekah wasn't looking for that though, instead she shrugged and stubbed out the cigarette on the pathway and glanced back at me.

"I'm-" I started but Rebekah cut me off, her hand wrapping around my throat, forcing the breath from my lungs as I stared up at her, eyes wide.

**"Don't you fucking say you're sorry, like your better than me you fucking bitch." She growled as her hands tightened, my pulse pounding in my ears. She leaned down then, her lips pressing roughly into mine as her teeth sunk into the skin hard enough to bleed. I whimpered, pushing at her shoulder as I tried to get her off of me, tears springing to the corner of my eyes.**

**She pulled back slightly, a smirk curling the corner of her lips, the bright red of my blood standing out so much against the pale pink of her lips.  
"you like that don't you Elena…"She chuckled softly leaning down to slide her tongue along my abused lip, something that sounded like a purr coming from her lips as she did. It was easy to see what she was in the hospital for in that moment. It was like the girl thought she was a vampire of something. The psycho.,"I can see it in the way that you move that you like things rough…" She sat up a little more, straddling my hips as she pulled her hands from my neck, "you open your mouth I'll slit your fucking throat with a rock." I nodded not trusting my voice as she lifted my wrists, ripping off the bandages from my mostly healed wounds.**

**"Well isn't this interesting." She smiled, this cruel smile that had my insides curling in fear before she was sliding her teeth over the cuts, tearing at the scabs with her teeth until they were bleeding again. She hummed her lips sealing over the cuts, and then she was sucking slowly, a groan leaving her lips as she rolled his hips almost roughly into mine. I pushed at her arm with my free hand, I wanted her off of me, but she just sunk her teeth into the freshly open cut tearing harder at the skin. I cried out in pain only to have her draw back and slap me as hard as she could, teeth stained red as she openly growled at me. I bit my bottom lip, teeth sinking into the cut vision blurry as the tears broke free.**

**"You're not going to say a damn thing to anyone." She threatened as she once more wrapped her hands around my neck, "not Dr. Saltzman, not Dr. Lockwood, none of them, not even that little bitch Caroline, or so help me Elena, you'll wish you died when you pathetically attempted to kill yourself."**

**I nodded slowly, struggling to breathe as she smiled, leaning down to slide her bloodied tongue along the shell of my ear.**

**"You're mine now, and I'm going to make sure that you never forget it." And then she was climbing off of me and making her way towards the doors leading back into the hospital, "sweet dreams Elena."**

I lay on the cold ground for a long time, breathing ragged, wrists hanging down next to my body as I tried not to think about anything, tried to keep her words from echoing in my head.

'You're pathetic.' It taunted, but those ones I was used too, it was the new ones that had me shaken.

'Like Damon would ever want to look at something that used…he'll never want you now.' My body hurt, my eyes stung and I didn't want to move, but the cold air was starting to seep into my bones, my teeth starting to chatter. Rolling onto my stomach I pushed myself up, ignoring the dull throbbing in my wrists, trying not to look at the blood that fell rather steadily down my arms. The ground swam beneath my feet as I struggled to make my way towards the door, but somehow I managed, the door closing behind me with a dull thud that echoed down the hallways. One of the nurses doing night checks spotted me before I got to the room, her lips drawn into a thin line as her hands went to her hips.

"Elena-Grace what are you doing out of bed." She demanded looking over me. I stumbled slightly as I tried to make my way towards my door.

The first lie that came to my mind probably wasn't the most convincing but it was the best that I could come up with on such short notice and when everything was already more than a little dazed.

"nightmare." I slid down the door frame my legs giving out as I glanced up at her, "they wouldn't get off my skin I tried to stop them but I couldn't." she swore her eyes wide as she knelt down next to me, fingers going to my pulse, her other hand reaching the radio on her hip.

"Jude come quick, we have a patient down, bring the first aid kit!" the words were sharp but I wasn't paying much mind to them, instead my thoughts were off in lala land. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back as the sounds of feet running down the hall echoed off the nearly empty walls.

"Oh lord." Jude whispered softly, and that was the last thing that I heard.

"So Lena you and I need to have a little chat." It was morning, a few days after the whole incident with Rebekah; the doctors had taken to wrapping my arms in thick gauze at night so that I could no longer claw at my cuts and bruises. Caroline was shaking my shoulder, leaning over me slightly as she did... Sunlight was barely peeking through the windows and she was insistent that I wake up no matter how much I just wanted to keep on sleeping.

"Please, give my five more minutes." I mumbled flipping onto my stomach, grunting softly as I realized that Caroline was still lying on my arm and it twisted painfully.

"No, Lena, we need to talk now…"She was pressing a little harder on my shoulder, leaning over me, casting a shadow over my eyes in the faint light of the morning. "Please, it's important." I groaned softly reaching for my pillow and tugging it over my head, muttering softly to myself as I did.

I yelped startled when she pinched my side, shaking my shoulder a little harder with a soft growl.

"Seriously Lena this is really important!" She insisted as she poked at me. I reached up swatting at her, smiling softly as I heard the thump of her hitting the floor. I rolled onto my side sitting up slightly to look at her, the fight for more sleep on hold as she let out a rather frustrated sounding breath. I cocked an eyebrow slightly, resting my chin against my hand before I smiled at her.

"Now tell me what was so damn important that you needed to wake me up during the middle of my rather nice dream." Caroline looked flustered, her hands twisting the corner of the covers between her fingers, refusing to meet my gaze.

"So today is my birthday," She finally muttered teeth moving to chew on her lip ring, "I turn 15 today." I smiled and reached up to ruffle her curls with a soft laugh.

"Well happy birthday then kid." Caroline's eyes narrowed as she glared at me before she was on her feet, poking her fingers into my chest.

"that's now what I wanted to tell you Lena and if you just shut your fucking mouth for one second I might actually be able to tell you!" I drew my eyebrows together wondering at Caroline's sudden outburst. She groaned before she stepped back sliding her fingers roughly back through her hair, her eyes glancing down at the floor again, doing everything but looking at me.

"Okay then what is it?" I questioned, sucking slowly at my lip, turning my body completely so that I was facing her, hands clasped in my lap. I would do everything that I could to make sure that she didn't yell like that again. It was just down right creepy when she did.

"The judge made a deal with my mom when I got my sentence. When it turned fifteen so long as I didn't cause any problems for the nurses I got released." I held my breath as she let out a slow one, once more looking down at her feet. "They're releasing me Lena, I get to go home."

Caroline was staring at me, but I didn't know what to say to her, hell I didn't even know where to begin. I wanted to be selfish; I wanted her to be stuck in the hospital with me for the eight months that I was being committed for. But even as selfish as I was, I could wish my personal hell on anyone else, that's not the type of person that I was.

"Are you not going to say anything?" She questioned softly as she slid her fingers slowly along my cheek, "come on Lena please say something I'm begging you." I grit my teeth, sliding my hands beneath my thighs, anything and everything that I could even begin to think of to keep me from dropping to my knees and begging her, pleading her not to leave me. Who would I have to turn to when Rebekah went psycho on my ass again? I wasn't exactly like I could go to Anna, as sweet of a girl as she was, she was Caroline's friend not mine, I was just in the background, a back though to all of it. I dug my teeth into my lip before shaking my head and pulling away laying onto my side and closing my eyes, I couldn't bear to watch any of this happen, it would kill me to see the one person that was keeping me sane walk out of the room.

Caroline whimpered softly and slid behind me, wrapping her arms around me in a rather awkward feeling hug now that I knew that she was leaving me.

"I promise I will come back for you Lena." She muttered and then she was pulling away from me, and I could hear her shuffling slowly around the room.

I sucked slowly at my lip as I concentrated on my breathing, not bothering to pay attention the moment that the nurse came in to collect Caroline.

"I'll miss you." She muttered softly and then I was dreaming.

_I couldn't believe what was happening as I stood in the door frame of our bedroom. Clutching my hand to my chest I tried to keep from hyperventilating. The room that I shared with Damon looked like a tornado had god through it, drawers pulled from the dressers, coat hangers scattered across the bed._

_"Oh god." I whimpered sinking to my knees, taking in the destruction all around me, the complete chaos that used to be my bedroom. Pushing my hands against my churning stomach I wondered what happened as slowly it registered that all of Damon's stuff was missing. From his clothes in the closet to the empty drawers to the ancient copy of Gone with the Wind that he always kept on the nightstand next to the bed. Feeling sick to my stomach I forced myself to my feet and down the hall towards the bathroom, my head repeating the same words over and over in my head. He's gone._

I was dreaming again…I had to be dreaming again. I tossed and turned not quite sure what it would help but then again I just wanted to get out of this hell of a dream!

My eyes flew open as the sick from my dream continued to push their way roughly along the front of my stomach.

**"Damn you always respond so well to me Elena." Rebekah whispered and then she was sinking her teeth hard enough into my neck that I was sure that it drew blood. Sadistic bitch had a blood fetish. "You always taste so fucking good." She purred, tongue lapping slowly against my neck. I whimpered flinching away from her, no more able to defend myself against her then the last time that she had cornered me.**

**"Please stop…" I whispered biting down hard on my lip, teeth stained red. She must have smelt it cause the next thing I knew I was on my back and she was over me, lips pressed to my own, tongue pressing past them with a low groan. My hands pushed against her shoulders but she wouldn't budge, her tongue just pushed harder into my mouth, practically raping it.**

"Elena I heard you missed breakfast so I brought you a-"Whatever Anna was going to say was drowned out by the clatter of the metal tray hitting the flood. Rebekah pulled away from me slowly, reaching up to slide the back of her wrist across her lips as she cocked an eyebrow at me, daring me to tell Anna, to put both her and me in danger.

"God sweetie not so rough next time." Rebekah leaned down to press her lips almost gently to my cheek as she glanced over at Anna, challenge written in her eyes.

"I guess I just don't know my strength." I muttered casting my eyes down, not able to look at anyone for fear of what they would see when they looked at me.

"I'll just ummm…" Anna was fumbling for words, hands twisting awkwardly in front of her.

"Well?" Rebekah demanded. Anna didn't say anything, she squeaked before taking off down the hallways, the metal tray of food on the flood completely forgotten. I growled and shoved Rebekah off of me, a scowl marring my lips.

"Get the hell out of my room." I spat moving to stand up but Rebekah just laughed and leaned over me, pressing her lips just below my ear.

"I told you that you would be mine Elena." She chuckled and slid her tongue along the skin, a shiver making its way up my spine, "I always keep my promises…meet your new roommate."

Nightmares took up the majority of my night, dreams that took on a life of their own, each one worse than the last till I was wide awake staring at the ceiling wishing that I could blow my brains out, wanting to see the splattered chunks to know that I was okay, that I was alive, maybe that would knock me out of this rut that I was in.

I didn't sleep at all after the nightmares started, my heart thudding in my chest as I struggled to keep Rebekah in the bunk above my bed out of my thoughts. I could still hear her words in my head about how I was going to be hers: I would die before I ever let that one happen.

Sunrise couldn't come soon enough the next morning. My body was sore from being in the same position the whole night, my eyes tired from not sleeping. I wished more than anything that Caroline was still with me, she would know what to do.

"Rise and shine princess we have a whole new day ahead of us." I shuddered as Rebekah slipped from the top bunk and shoot me this lust filled grin. I shook my head and moved to slide out of my bed, tugging the covers with me, refusing to let Rebekah see my body, feeling guilt set down deep in my gut.

"Get away from me." I snarled, shoving my way past her, wanting to keep her away from me, but Rebekah just chuckled before wrapping her arms around my waist and tugging me firmly against her chest.

"Come on now princess, don't be like that." She leaned down to bite into my shoulder, as I struggled against her, pushing at her chest, tears springing to the corner of my eyes. Damon used to call me that, it was his name, how dare Rebekah use it, and in such a degrading manner.

"Stop it…"I muttered digging my nails into her chest, I just wanted away from her, "just please stop." Rebekah full on laughed, her teeth sinking down into my shoulder harder, hands slipping up the back of my shirt. There was a knock on the door before Dr. Saltzman was stepping into the room.

"Is everything okay in here?" I wanted nothing more than to struggle, to push at Rebekah, shove her off of me and beg Dr. Saltzman for mercy but with the look that Rebekah was giving me and the way that her fingers were digging into my sides I knew that it wouldn't be possible.

Dr. Saltzman cleared his throat before he stood to the side of the door his eyebrow arched. Stefan's face went pale as he looked over me, his teeth sinking hard into his bottom lip. I flinched, guilt swelling in the pit of my stomach, tears springing to my eyes as I looked over him.

Stefan swore under his breath, shaking his head before he was walking out of the room his lips drawn into a thin line. Rebekah chuckled as she looked down over me, seeing me in pain like this her face lit up like a little kid on Christmas. I shoved her off of me, rolling off of the bed in one smooth motion, my feet barely touching the floor before I was off after Stefan. Sure I hated him, sure I wanted nothing to do with him, but with the look in his eyes I knew that all hell was going to break loose and I was going to do anything and everything in my power to stop it.

From behind me I could hear Rebekah growl, I knew that I would be punished for it later on but I could care less, my hands wrapping around Stefan' upper arm, tugging him to a stop.

"It's not what it looks like." I wheezed. Stefan just shook his head cocking one of his eyebrows at me. He folded his arms across his chest, turning completely to look at me, waiting for me to explain myself to him even though I knew that there was no way that I possibly could.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Stefan demanded as he uncrossed his arms and reached up to wrap his hands around mine tugging me close to him, "did you just suddenly decide to start whoring yourself out again or is she your one and only?" I flinched looking down at my feet, my throat swelling. He growled, his grip around my arms tightening even more as he glared at me, "what about Damon, Elena-Grace? Did you just forget about him? What about me? Did we really mean so little too you."

"it's not like that please Stefan you have to believe me, it could never be like that, I love Damon I love you, not like I love Damon but you… I don't want…"I was begging him but I could care less how pathetic it really sounded, I just needed him to understand that it wasn't what it looked like. Sure I could never really explain it Rebekah would kill me if I did but he just needed to understand.

I shook my head and reached up to wrap my arms around Stefan, all anger towards him forgotten for a moment as he curled his arms around my upper chest.

"Stefan get me out of here please." I begged him softly taking in a deep, rough breath tears dripping steadily down my cheeks, "I'm going to go insane in here, I won't make it out alive." We both knew that it wasn't possible but I needed to try, Rebekah would end up killing me if I didn't. Stefan tilted his head, pressing his lips to my forehead as he let out a soft breath.

"We'll get you out of here baby girl, I promise." I squeezed my eyes shut clutching all the harder to him as he whispered soft words against my hair. Stefan and I may have hated each other but we were family and in the end family did what they could to protect each other.

I was sitting in the art room after lunch with Anna when Lexi came running around the corner from the back of the building, her slippers skidding across the floors.

"Elena!" she almost hit the floor as she slipped a little further into the room, a huge smile written across her face. "so we talked to Dr. Saltzman, he said he'd be willing to do a revaluation on you!" she did this little jump as she was talking, all 5" of her bouncing around like a little kid on crack, blond curls flying everywhere, "Elena were going to get you out-"she didn't get a chance to finish her sentence before I was flying out of my seat and across the room my arms wrapped firmly around her clutching her to me.

"Oh thank god." I muttered tightening my arms. It looked like there was going to finally be some hope.


End file.
